He is near in the waiting

 

“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10

Honestly, lately my quiet time has been filled with tears.
With confusion.
With longing for the Lord while feeling like He’s just out of reach.

I’ve been seeking His voice and His will with everything in me, yet struggling to hear or understand. And that’s been hard because He promises, “Seek and you will find.” So when I’m seeking and still feel empty handed, it leaves me wondering where He is in the silence.

But I’m beginning to sense that the Lord isn’t asking me to strive harder or search louder. I think He’s inviting me to be still.

To sit in awe of who He is.
To lay everything down and weep at the feet of the Father.
To trust that His presence doesn’t disappear just because His voice feels quiet.

This season has been a journey. One marked by unanswered questions and tender moments, but it has also been a deep blessing. Through the stillness, He’s teaching me lessons I couldn’t have learned any other way. And even in the confusion, I’m learning that He is near, patient, and gentle with my heart.

God doesn’t say try harder.
He doesn’t say do more or be better.
He simply says, be still.

Because we cannot truly be still until we remember who He is.

As we step toward 2026, God’s promise feels simple yet deeply profound:
“I will be your God.”
And our response?
Be still.

There are things God can stop, heal, and move that we never could on our own.
So if you feel uncertain about the future, be still.
If you’re anxious, overwhelmed, or weary, be still.

Be still in prayer.
Be still in worship.

Don’t just speak, sit quietly before the Lord.
Prayer was never meant to be a one-way conversation.
We speak and God speaks too.

So I’ve had to ask myself:
Has my walkie-talkie turned into a radio?
Am I talking at God instead of listening with Him?

This is something I was reminded of during a church service I attended Saturday morning, and I felt so encouraged to share it.

If you’re reading this and feeling emotionally, spiritually, or physically tired, I want you to hear this clearly: you are not failing.
You are not weak for needing rest.
Even Jesus withdrew to quiet places.

Stillness is not quitting, it’s trusting.
Sometimes, choosing to be still is the bravest act of faith we can make.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28

These past few weeks have been nothing short of incredible.
Last week alone, we spent four nights caroling until 3 a.m.

It sounds exhausting and honestly, it was.
But it was also one of the most joyful and fruitful ministries I’ve ever been part of.

We came together as a squad, bringing the joy of Christmas to homes all across Malaysia. At every house, we sang, shared Scripture, and prayed over families and homes.

Yes, we were tired but we were full.

“The joy of the Lord is your strength.” — Nehemiah 8:10

We’ve also shared so much squad joy: movie marathons at church, Christmas games, hot cocoa, laughter, and the tangible presence of the Lord among us. God has been near, and it’s been sweet.

On Christmas Eve, we hosted a massive service where everyone dressed in traditional Indian clothing. I wore a saree! The night was filled with worship, dance performances, carols, and a Christmas skit I had the joy of being part of.

But the most powerful moment didn’t happen on stage.

Earlier that week, my friends Ellie, Zoey, and I met a man named Michael at the gym. He’s Buddhist. We ended up sitting on the gym floor talking about life, purpose, and meaning, and we invited him to the Christmas Eve service.

During the service, while I was dancing with my friends, Ellie tapped my shoulder and whispered, “Michael is here.”

I was stunned. A Buddhist man walked into a Christian church on Christmas Eve.

It felt like holy ground.
To fellowship with him.
To introduce him to Jesus on the very night we celebrated the birth of the King of Kings what a gift.

Around the same time, World Race witnessed another beautiful encounter. A barista at a coffee shop we frequently go to noticed some racers doing a Bible study. She asked to read their Bible, and they ended up talking about Jesus for three hours.

The Lord is moving in Malaysia.
He is drawing hearts.
He is making Himself known.

Many of you know that Malaysia has been hard for me.
It’s not Swazi.
Ministry looks different.
Life feels different.

But the Lord has been so kind in showing me that discomfort does not mean defeat.
Hard does not mean wrong.

He’s been teaching me gratitude gently pulling my focus away from how I feel and redirecting my eyes toward joy and thankfulness in seasons of uncertainty.

“Give thanks in all circumstances.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:18

He’s also been stirring a deeper boldness in me to share the gospel at every opportunity. Because it’s not just a missed conversation it’s a missed potential salvation. And that’s not something to take lightly.

If your current season feels unfamiliar, awkward, or harder than the last one, take heart. Growth often feels like discomfort before it feels like joy. God does not waste seasons that stretch us.

Just because this season doesn’t look like the one you loved before doesn’t mean it isn’t holy.
God is just as present here as He was there.

“See, I am doing a new thing; now it springs up do you not perceive it?” — Isaiah 43:19

This season of life, the Lord has filled my heart with such a profound love and gratitude for the people I’m walking alongside on this journey.

He’s given me a deeper heart to serve them, to love them intentionally, and to see them the way He does. It amazes me that in just four short months, these people have become so incredibly dear to me.

What a gift it has been to laugh together, to serve together, to grow together, and to love one another so deeply in such a short time. I don’t take it lightly. This season, these people, and this kind of love are such a blessing, and I am endlessly thankful for each of them.

Since arriving in Malaysia, I’ve been given the role of Prayer and Intercession, and it has been such a gift.

This past Friday, with my friend Bridger’s help, we hosted a prayer night, and it was incredibly powerful. We wrote prayers on sticky notes and covered the walls as we prayed over one another, encouraged each other, and carried one another’s burdens.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” — Galatians 6:2

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the 36 people the Lord intentionally placed in my life. I’ve only known them for four months, yet they feel like family. I love D Squad deeply. Their love for the Lord and for one another is such a gift.

The Lord is changing me in a season that sometimes feels like being stuck.
There have been moments of loneliness.
Moments of feeling useless.

But He keeps gently reminding me to be still and know.

Maybe my walkie-talkie really has become a radio.
Maybe I need to stop striving and start listening.

God is not leaving us in discomfort.
He is not absent in uncertainty.
He is present, kind, and faithful.

As I continue to pray for boldness, grace, and a deeper love for the gospel, I’m learning that being still doesn’t mean doing nothing, it means trusting everything to Him.

And in that stillness, He speaks.

If there’s one thing I hope you walk away with, it’s this: God is not leaving you in it.

Whatever it looks like for you. Uncertainty, discomfort, waiting, doubt, know that God is steady, present, and faithful.

You don’t have to rush the process.
You don’t have to have all the answers.
You just have to stay close.

Be still.
Know who He is.
Trust that He’s working even when you can’t see it yet.

God is kind.
God is near.
And He is not finished with you.

Prayers for the squad:

• Health
• Unity
• Boldness
• Homesickness

I am 83% funded and Almost there if you feel called to donate anything helps. Love you all and thank you for supporting me on this journey.